Social Connection through Food

In my family, food is love. Cooking is what we do to celebrate, share good times, and mourn. I don’t remember bringing flowers to friends that were sick or grieving, but I do remember Pyrex dishes loaded with enchiladas, aluminum pans bending under the weight of spinach lasagna, and plate after plate of my mother’s famous chocolate chip cookies. Birthday cakes and even wedding cakes were homemade and more than a bit homey.

We could all use a little more love and social connection, especially these days. Food is so much more than just fuel; sharing meals is a deeply ingrained part of what it means to be a social animal, connected to the pack, thriving or struggling together, and sharing what we have. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a shared dish may hold a thousand stories. More importantly, it may help start a new story with new friends.

Spring is in the air, and it’s starting to feel like potluck season. Potlucks are a great way to bring together a diverse group of people – friends, family, neighbors, daycare parents, coworkers, gym partners, dog park buddies – that maximizes social and culinary interaction and minimizes the cost for all. I often extend the invite with two requests: first, bring a dish to share (if you can), and second, bring a friend.

As a nutrition professional, I get one potluck-related question all the time: “What’s a cheap, healthy, easy to prepare, and popular dish I can bring?” I wish I had a perfect response, but there are many options: no-bake cookies, vegetable sticks and hummus, jalapeno corn bread, bean salad, grilled corn on the cob, cucumber salad, berries with whipped cream, tofu and sesame slaw, or anything with guacamole (I know – not cheap). Sparkling water or non-alcoholic beer are two popular and healthier beverage options. I try to steer people away from bringing soda, chips and salsa, pretzels or snack mix, or packaged cookies or brownies unless the host specifically requests them – those are less nutritious options that tend to be over-represented.

Some people get anxious about bringing food to a potluck; others won’t show up unless they have something to contribute. While I understand the hesitation about arriving empty-handed, I also encourage people to remember potlucks are about community and connection. We’ve all been there – busy days, empty checking accounts, emotional challenges, bare pantries – but when a group meets for a potluck, there’s usually plenty of food and it’s my chance to show some love and support. I’ll take an empty-handed friend over an empty seat any day.

Inviting people over for food can feel intimidating, but keep it simple and remember the basics: we all have to eat, meals are best with others, and food is love. Love doesn’t have to be perfect, pretty, or use some trendy recipe, but it does require showing up and sharing.

For more information on the Surgeon General’s “potluck handbook” Recipes for Connection, check out: https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/recipes-for-connection.pdf

Bret Sarnquist, MPH, RDN is one of the Wellness Dietitians with Tahoe Forest Health System. He teaches cooking and nutrition classes, group education, and is available for one-on-one nutrition consults. When he’s not at work, you might see him on his mountain bike or dangling off the cliffs of Donner Summit.